Catching Up

Another holiday, summer is here, and the kids are finally getting out of school.  Oh my…what a mess.  Trying to keep the house clean as well as clean up from our day camping sessions.  More visitors are stopping by and I’m getting more and more self-conscious about how the house looks.  You add a cake into the mix, then I’m dreading clean up and company of any kind.

So, how do you deal?

From a young age we are constantly comparing ourselves to other women.  “She looks prettier,” or, “I want to look like her.”  It continues as we get older as well.  “I can’t believe that woman can do all that, I wish I could.”  We are constantly comparing ourselves to other women.  We aren’t accounting for what is actually going on in our lives or theirs.  We even do the opposite and put someone down without knowing what their story is.

What does this actually do for us though?

Absolutely nothing!  We get so far behind trying to be like someone else that we get lost and backed up.  We forget that we have to work into what works for us and our families.  What works for me may not work for you.  Or maybe what works for me, you never thought about.  We also need to stop being so down on ourselves.  That doesn’t mean put it off, but if you’ve worked to your limit, and there are still a few things that didn’t get done…well, leave it for tomorrow.  It isn’t going anywhere.

I’ve been blessed with friends that are happy to help where they can.  I have one friend whose house is always immaculate.  It hardly ever looks like she has three children that live there.  But, then she always has dishes in the sink.  She loves to clean, and when she comes here and watches me struggling, she keeps me company and picks up the vacuum or broom and helps out.  She doesn’t judge me for what I can and cannot do, and she does what she can to help me along.  She loves coming over after I’ve done a cake, or I’ve been backed up on laundry because she likes to vacuum and she happens to really like my vacuum.  Strange the things you like when you become a mother.

Not every one of us is blessed with a OCD friend that comes over and picks up the slack, but that still doesn’t mean we should stress so much on it and allow ourselves to get even more backed up.  If you’ve ever had a friend like that, you can see how easily it is to feel like you aren’t doing well enough.  Well, why can’t I keep my house that clean.  She’s got three kids as well.  But if you look at it closer, there are many differences between your OCD friend and yourself.  Besides, what works for her doesn’t work for me.  Also, I really don’t want to spend my entire time searching out each and every tiny spec of dust in the house.

So, what is the trick?

Allowing yourself certain time and a structure to when and how you clean.  Including catch up time, that you will have from time to time.  experimenting for what will work for you, and how to clean as you go.  Organizing so that it suits you and your family.  And the biggest one of all…stop comparing yourself to others.  We’re all different, and that’s the way God made us.

Leave a comment below to share some of your experiences.

 

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The Elusive Mombition

Ambition is one of those things that some people have and some of us struggle for.  I’m not talking about the ambition that drives us to go further in careers and such.  I’m talking about daily ambition just to even get out of bed.  After you’ve been in pain for so long, it becomes an elusive thing.  However, when you’re a mom, you don’t have time for ambition.  It’s called mombition.

Mombition is ambition to keep up with the house, kids, husband, dog, friends, family, current events, you name it.  We have all these things to keep up with.  But, what happens when your health gets in the way of that?  This mombition becomes elusive.  It’s falling into a pattern of knowing you cannot do things, so why bother.  I can’t go out and run, so why bother.  But, it turns into other things.  Without our mombition, we slowly sink into a depression.

So, how do you combat this?

Well, by getting up and doing something.  That’s the general answer.  However, we aren’t neglecting our buggies or families.  We’re neglecting ourselves, and we’re doing so with the why bother idea.  So, to jump-start that ambition and regain our mombition, we have to jump-start it by helping others.

So, last week I started testing this theory by helping as much as I could.  However, once you get that under your belt, it still isn’t necessarily what you need.  For me, it is learning how to balance two very basic symptoms.  Pain and dizziness.  Since we aren’t much farther in the direct causes of both, we still have to focus on limits.  However, without that mombition, those limits are hard to find and easy to give in sooner, making your limits smaller.  Then making your own home feel almost like a prison.

What does that mean?

It means get up and get out.  Yes, you may need more sit down time than normal.  Yes, it may well hurt so much worse tomorrow.  But, why dwell in that?  Why not get out there and dig up the dirt.  Have great conversation with someone you haven’t been able to because they were busy and you were stuck at home.  You may not be much of a help in these circumstances, however, getting out there and doing it really does test those limits and gives you something more to build on.

Yesterday I spent the morning catching up on loss of sleep because some little buggies decided that staying up until half an hour before daddy gets up for work is a good idea.  So, we snoozed during the morning, and were able to spend the time with Aunt Cily Bug during the afternoon.  Lunch at the picnic table, and a bit of digging in the dirt after.  Well, Aunt Cily was digging, the buggies were playing, and Mama Bug tried to help but spent quite a bit of time sitting on her butt in the grass to compensate for the dizziness.

When we got home, I cleaned like a mad woman, fielded some important calls, made dinner, then went to bell practice at church.  By the time I got home, I knew it was going to be a rough night, but time with the hubby is important, so we kicked back and watched our show together.  After that, this mama was toast.

This morning, I’m paying for everything I did yesterday.  And lacking a bit in the ambition part.  But, the mombition is coming back, making all the other that much easier to fight.  When we feel like we lose a vital part of ourselves, it is hard to bring it back up close to what the normal was prior.  We just have to find the right way to regain it back.

What do you do to re-up your mombition?

Mama Clothing Care

So, this week we’re hitting the dreaded closet section of Mommy Care.  However, just like with the makeup, this is going to have to be broken down a bit more from here.  Until then, I want to cover some basics.  Get you started with what you already have, and then we’ll go from there, with more of your input, of course.

So It Starts.

Who has gone to their closet and tossed out almost every piece of clothing they have, just to get ready for church, and still can’t find anything appropriate?  How about that date with Daddy Bug, and you want to look just right, but you feel that all you have is just wrong?

After an hour of looking through what I have and I’m still standing there half-naked and lost on a good fit for what I need, I often feel like this:pug-801826_1920Seriously, when all you have and you still feel so lost because you can’t seem to find something that doesn’t make you look too fat, too blessed, too blah, too young, too old….Oh the list just goes on and on.

And, let’s get this one straight, ladies, don’t tell someone they look great, and rip them apart behind their back.  It gets back to that person eventually, and we just really need to quit ripping each other apart.  Tell her to her face.  Not right in front of everyone, but nicely let her know, so she has the chance to fix it up a bit and feel comfortable.

So, what do we do when we feel like it is hopeless, and should just cover every ounce and hide inside?  First off, take a step back.  Breathe.  Realize, the only way you will look that entirely horrible, is if you feel that way.  When we feel that way, we could be covered in roses and diamonds, and still not look fierce and gorgeous.

So, how can I dress to look myself and not like a bakery on parade?

Let’s face it.  By this time, a lot of us feel like we have more rolls than a bakery, and we want to feel good about ourselves but society can be harsh and make you feel like you need liposuction ASAP!  Frankly, there are more curvaceous women out there than those runway models.

Also, big is beautiful.  You just have to find what is right for you.  Start with what goes underneath first.  You can’t present yourself well if you’re sporting the, “My cup has over floweth,”style, just as much as if you were sporting that uni-boob thing.  And, if our underwear gives us a muffin top, then we surely aren’t going to succeed when we put anything over the top of it.

Find yourself a shopping partner, and go out and get what fits your bottom and bosom.  It doesn’t have to be granny panties either.  When you choose your shopping partner be sure it is someone you trust and know that they love you enough to not allow you to walk out with worse than you went in with.  And, aside from finding the correct section to get your under things in, don’t worry about the size.  It’s a tag to help sort.  Not a label on you and who you are.

Next Up…

Now after you’ve found the proper support group, it’s time to go on to the next.  When you’re choosing things to make you look and feel good, we need to remember that the number on those jeans is as I said above.  A tag to sort not a label on your person.  Find something that fits.  And wearing fitting things is a wonderful way to start, so long as it is in your size.  If you have to do that trick our mother’s taught us, by laying on the bed and sucking it in to zip up those jeans, then go get a trash bag and toss it in to donate to someone else.  It’s not worth it, and it surely does not make you look thinner.  Actually, it does the opposite.

I’ve heard a lot about slimming down with darker colors, no prints, no stripes (especially horizontal), and no bright colors.  Well, some rules are meant to be broken.  I don’t mean go get cheetah pants and a zebra shirt.  I mean, adding in these little popping things can actually be the thing you need.  Not just to make you happy, but to show off that inner attitude that you have.  If you’re a hot pink and orange kind of mama, then do it.  If you’re a beige and sage, then rock that too.  Take pride of what is inside.  Don’t be afraid to show who you are through what you wear.

When I was a teenager, I got teased for wearing multi prints, or bright colors, or anything that was different.  And, get this, it’s all in fashion, on trend, and high fashion in today’s clothing life.  Burns my butt a bit, when I think I should have not listened to some of those people, and run off to designer school anyways.  Then maybe I could have been the one making those big bucks putting out the clothes I liked to wear.  Turns out that I found something better anyways, so when it bugs me, I just look up and see my three little buggies, and decide…nah, this was so what I was looking for and didn’t even know it.

Anyways, the point is to go with your gut.  If you like it, don’t be afraid of it.  Besides, when you’re talking about fashion, you want to accent your assets.  And, lets face it, one of the best assets you have is who you are inside.  So, if it’s you, then do it.

Top it off…

Top this look off with your accessories and makeup.  Last week we talked about wearing your makeup to fit you.  The same thing applies to accessories.  Now, if you’re going for the thinning look your gut is to wear something small.  Something not quiet so out there so it isn’t noticed.  This is just like wearing pants too small and thinking it will thin you down.

Besides, big jewelry is in.  So, toss on those big chunky hoop earrings you like so much, put on that necklace with the chunky bead at the focal point, and don’t forget your suitcase…I mean purse, when you go out. Besides, us mommies need something that will fit everything we need.  My kids are almost out of diaper bag phase, but they still need things.  If I’ve got a small purse, then I’m carrying multiple bags with me to accommodate.  So, get that giant bag out, and don’t be afraid if it’s loud.

I often carry larger purse that is bright in color and glammed out.  I don’t get the, “OMG, she seriously isn’t carrying that thing with her…ewww.”  Actually I get many questions on where I got it and where they can find one like it.

So, stop over thinking this stuff.  Wear what you have proudly.  And, if it still doesn’t quite fit what you were going for, we’ll get to that point in this section soon enough.dancing-919972_1280

Homework for you guys!!!

Leave me a comment, contact me privately, just let me know one way or the other.  Tell me what you’d like to hear.  Some examples would maybe be, how to hide an oversized chest or maybe how to enhance an undersized chest without surgery.  Maybe you’re short like me, so you want to go over options that make your legs look longer.  Whatever it is, I need your thoughts and opinions on this.  It’s a broad subject, so help me out and tell me what you think.

Mama Bug’s First Question Post

Today I had something asked of me.  Some advice needed from a close friend.  And although she did not email me the question, I felt it was a great place to start.

The Question

My husband and I are fighting again.  It seems like there is nothing I can do to not fight with him.  And our children are hearing this as well.  I don’t know what to do.  The situation isn’t changing, and it has been going on for a while.  What should I do?

The Reply

This was done in person, so it was a full conversation.  My friend has been going through this for a while, and isn’t sure what to do about it.  She is on the fence, so to say.  You can tell that she is entirely in love with her husband, but not the fights that happen often.

Do or don’t, she feels that there is nothing she can do to stop the fighting.  And these fights may cause them the big D…  In the mean time, what to do?

She has tried talking it out.  And there is no way there will be full participation for marriage counseling, which is something I normally suggest as a first.  The best thing to start with, in my opinion, is prayer.

Praying helps us in many ways, and the decision to pray about something is the start of leaving the problem at the feet of Jesus.  That leaves us with the feeling of a large burden lifted off our shoulders.

Now, the next thing should be counseling.  I’m not a professional, as I’ve said many times throughout my posts.  However, I am one of those people who others tend to come to in times of need.  Whether it is for a listening ear to vent, or even help, like this.

My friend was looking for both.  As well as a quick break from the situation.  Often times, we will snap right back at the person who snaps at us.  Sometimes we will work ourselves into an anxious state, that makes us snap at the first possible snide comment made from our spouse or significant other.

Both things do not help, and it also means that there is no one person at fault. It takes two to fight.  At this time, if one person is too upset to talk, all they may want to do is argue or fight.  The best thing we can do is be quiet.  There is nothing that will help if we are only yelling back, or more.  As I said, it takes two to fight.

Again, praying and leaving the situation at the feet of Jesus, will also give us the strength we need to keep that quiet.  One of the hardest things I, myself, have had to do is to shut my mouth when the argument arises.  I’m also a person that will know a situation may cause a fight regardless of what I do to stop it, so I work myself up so bad, that if my husband says anything about him, I’m the one starting the fight while defending myself.

When we do these things we say so many things that are painful, hurtful, and are done intentionally to hurt the other person.  Whether you mean it or not, it doesn’t matter, because you can’t take it back.  And often these wounds are worse than being physically attacked.  A bruise will heal, a lash emotionally and mentally may never heal.

So, to my friend, I told her the best thing to do is to pray for help in her marriage.  Pray for help for her other half.  Pray for strength and patience to get through these.  Then, I told her to not react.  That is the expected thing…the reaction to the dig, snide remark, or out right yelling.

And even when we do this behind closed doors, our children don’t just hear it.  They feel it.  They feel the intensity of all of it, and it does hurt them.  Whether it is a broken heart from the situation, or even the feeling of needing to help the parent with no idea how to do so.

That old saying, if you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all.  It brings up a brick wall.  Your other half can try to start a fight, but without reaction, there really isn’t anything else to fuel it.  They will likely continue for a while, to push those buttons.  But, if we do not react, eventually they will get tired of it.

Once someone is done with that anger, they have room to think about what is really bothering them.  They may come to a point where talking WILL help.  And, when we keep quiet, instead of sniping back, it gives them a platform to approach us in a calm matter to talk.  Maybe they need help.  Maybe there is a deep underlying situation that needs resolved, or at least brought up, then they can be encouraged to get the help they need.

Why?

Anger is like quick sand.  The more we wriggle and struggle in quick sand, the faster we sink.  The more we feed the anger, the farther we sink into it bringing hatred and rage along with it.

Anger should be dealt with in some way, and not shoved down to eat at you.  If you choose to bottle anger, it WILL come out eventually.  It will be devastating, and is often directed at someone who has nothing to do with the cause of your anger.  Therefore hurting other close relationships because of the blow up.

Working through anger is definitely a reason to see a professional.  Because it can get off track quickly.  However, that isn’t always an option.  So we go to a friend or family member we can trust, and we vent and talk about it.

What can I do if I cannot get professional help?

Redirecting anger into a constructive activity is a great thing.  I redirect my anger into writing, learning, and crafting or creating different things whether that is in my “office” (which is about anywhere in the house that I happen to do it, currently), or in my kitchen.

Some people exercise, some people scream out their frustrations, then turn it into a game that is fun for other people.  There have been many ideas that physically releasing anger is good and bad.  If out and hit a punching bag for five minutes, then come back to what is ailing you, you are most likely just feeding that anger.

However, if you go out and hit that punching bag for thirty minutes or more, and start using it as another spot to vent out those frustrations.  Turn it into a fitness thing, or another fun activity, you can come back to what is ailing you with a different perspective.

The point is to get all the bad out-of-the-way, so that you can focus on what is more important.  Like, why you love that person, and why you want to fix things.

So….

To all of you out there with these kind of problems, say a prayer first, then get help.  It doesn’t make you stupid or weak to get professional help.  Or even to ask for help at all.  It makes you human.  Everyone has a breaking point.  Everyone needs help sometimes.  It makes us better to work through things, than to stew in that anger.

And, besides, if you are already at a volatile point, what will it hurt to get help?  There are many ways to get marriage counseling, or counseling at all.  Ask your pastor or minister at church.  Or even a church friend.  A parent or grandparent (if you are comfortable doing so).  You’d be surprised to learn that there are many people who have had to get help themselves.

We get stuck in this perspective that we have to be perfect.  Well, the only person that walked on this earth that was perfect was Jesus Christ.  So, we need to stop chastising ourselves for not being perfect.  We can work on bettering ourselves, but lets start setting realistic goals.

Also, marriage is not disposable.  And, if you want to try to save your marriage, no matter how bad it may have gotten, there is NOTHING wrong with that.  Actually, I think, if we all tried a bit harder to remember that marriage is not disposable, there would be less divorce out there.  Marriage can be hard, but if we just give up without trying, then why did we get married to begin with.  We cannot run from every problem we have in life.  One day you will have to stop and face the music.

Leave a comment below and tell me what you think.  Or if you would like some direction, send me a private message.  I’ll even research some good places for you to look into for help.

God Bless!

Mommy Care Part 2

Hello mommies!  Hope you tried that face wash, and I hope it turned out wonderful for you.  So, quick recap.  We’ve covered waking up and being thankful, starting the day on the right foot.  We’ve covered eye-opening face wash, so what next?

Well, after we do all that many get dressed before we put on our makeup, however, I’m going to skip that part for the moment.  Instead we are going to talk about another expensive thing we like to do and why.

First…To Put On the War Paint or Not?

Lets take a look at why women put on makeup, for a moment.  It’s been referenced to me in the past by calling it war paint.  In that, meaning going out to find someone.  However, we’re mommies now, and even though some of us may not be with someone, finding your partner in crime is a bit different.makeup-beauty-lipstick-make-up

I’m married, so in that instance, it doesn’t apply to me.  But, if we use that same phrase under different terms, it does.  For myself, I put on the war paint, to battle depression, feeling insecure with my new mommy look, to hide the bags under my eyes from endless nights battling the sleep fighting monsters…or sometimes monsters, depending on which buggy you ask.

You may notice I did not say once that it was for my husband.  And it is no offense meant to him, however, in times like these where the mommy needs to take care of herself and learn to love herself.  She needs to decide if makeup is something that helps her feel better about herself.  Learning to love yourself, sometimes takes learning to love the outside first, before you can see all those gorgeous things on the inside.

I don’t mean in any way that a woman needs to wear makeup to look beautiful.  It’s a choice you have to make, and it has to be made at the understanding that it is a tool.  Meant to feel better about yourself.  No one else, but yourself.  At this point in our lives, we don’t need to impress anyone but ourselves.  Once you can do that, you can start looking deeper, where it really counts, to find the rest of the beauty that you are blinded to see.

Blinded?

Most of us who are depressed, or really feeling down, are blinded by a lack of self-esteem.  Therefore, you are not able to see all the good that is in you.  Also, I have always experienced and seen that you cannot love others to the fullest if you do not love yourself.  God blessed us with everything we are, and we need to remember that he made us all beautiful.  However, sometimes life makes us forget these things.

Back to makeup

Once you’ve made the decision to use makeup as a tool, you’ll need to take a look at what you have.  You also need to decide if what you have is enough.  Now, here is where many of us panic.  We look for what we need and it isn’t all there anymore.  Or, you find it and you see the buggies have destroyed some of your best arsenal, and you don’t have the money to replace it.  And, frankly, scraping it off the walls and floors to try to recover it just isn’t going to work.

So, now you may be in a bit of a panic mode.  You can’t use it if you don’t have it, and who wants to spend $10 on eyeliner?  I surely don’t.  Unless there is an allergy or another skin or eye reaction where you cannot use the cheaper things, there really isn’t a need to start off with the expensive things.

I’ve recently found that some of the cheaper brands, actually make the effect better and last longer.  Although it is not naturally made, and more than likely enhanced so well by chemicals, it isn’t much different from the rest of the things we put in or on our bodies, that are full of chemicals as well.  So, why start off so expensive?

All three of my buggies had gotten into my makeup numerous amounts of times.  I’ve actually walked into my bathroom, after cleaning all that up, and was not able to find my makeup because I couldn’t remember the new hiding spot I put it in.  Although, that is a story for another time as well.

Once found, I realized that my best red out stick and concealing stick were entirely unusable.  AND THOSE WERE SOOOO EXPENSIVE!!!  So, after a lot of trial and error, as well as a lot of talking to friends and family members, I’ve found a few places to get these things cheap.  Possibly indifferent forms, but cheap none the less.

I found an under eye concealer that works better for me than my expensive concealing stick.  It is in liquid form, in a tube that you twist to push up to the brush.  There aren’t any fingerprints or lines in it once it is put on.  Where did I find it?  I found it at the dollar tree.

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You see all these commercials on T.V. that make you feel that buying the expensive things is better for your skin, easier to use, and just plain better all around.  That isn’t always the case though.  You can find the same types, with the same ingredients, at a lower price.  All we really have to do is look, and listen.

I like to match my makeup with whatever I’m wearing, especially if it is something special, like performing at church, going on a date with my husband (which happens oh so rarely lately), or watching my buggy’s school performance.  I like to keep a professional look that makes my eyes stand out, or something else that is naturally beautiful, to stand out and make a memorable appearance.  And, no, not my boobs.

For instance, I’ve had to meet with clients for a cake.  I like to look as professional as possible during the consult, so that my client can be comfortable in the fact, that I can create a cake that will not just satisfy their needs, but blow them away with ideas that they hadn’t thought of.

This can make my arsenal need much more, with colors and different shades of makeup to make the point I’d like to make.  Also, in doing this, it makes me feel beautiful, so I then glow with confidence in myself, which makes performing, meetings, and dates even more enjoyable because I feel much better about myself.  It also makes my husband cringe right at my side when I tell him Beanie found my makeup stash again, I need to replace….

Then the cringe is softened when I find it for $1 as opposed to the $10+ that makeups can cost us.  One of my favorite low-cost brands is L.A. Colors.  You can find these at Dollar Tree, Dollar General, or even Family Dollar.  On those days I want to look bright and sunny, I can find the bright-colored eye shadow to make that point.  It stays on through the day, and withstands quite a bit, even me forgetting I have make up on and rubbing my eyes.  I may need to clean it up a bit, but most of it stays right in place.

What About You?

Have you found a few places that you can get what you need that works better for you and is much nicer on your pocket-book?  Leave me a comment.  Let’s share the knowledge, so others can find a great way to build their arsenal and feel better about themselves as well.  Leave me a comment below, to share your experiences as well.

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Beginning Mommy Care

Starting this week I’m going to start talking about mommy care.  One thing a lot of us mommies do, even if we are not sick, in pain, or depressed; we tend to focus so much on our children and forget about ourselves.  We figure if the buggies are well taken care of, then that is all that matters.  When we add in the illness, pain, or depression, (one, two, or all three of them) this becomes more of just the reason we get out of bed.  When I say that, I mean that a lot of us in this position figure if it weren’t for the buggies then you wouldn’t be there, so why bother with ourselves when all that really matters in the world is them.

Although it is a great thing that we are taking care of our buggies, we often forget that if we don’t care for ourselves, then one day we could end up not being able to take care of the buggies.  Then what?  Also, if we take care of ourselves, we end up making more energy to put into our buggies and our jobs as housewives.  It gives us that little extra pick me up in the mornings, through the day, and an easier slowdown into the evening and night.  You may even find yourself feeling more into your married or hubby time.

When we stop taking care of ourselves, we are allowing ourselves to start down that dark path of depression.  And depression will hurt you and your family life eventually.  Often times other people look at mothers that are practically crying out for help with their lack of care for themselves, as nothing.  Some even go as far as name calling or worse…saying that we are bad mothers.  This just adds to that depression, because we end up feeling like we can’t even take care of our children right.

So, what do we do?

This is where I tell you to stop it.  Stop listening to other people talk badly and judge you on how and who you are.  You are a good mother, and deep down you know it.  But by letting ourselves go, we just don’t feel like we’re good at anything.

So, how do we start?woman-morning-bathrobe-bathroom

I’ve already gone over your morning prayer thanking God for all your gifts.  We’ve gone over doing your morning routine including putting on your make up.  But, what do you do before your make up?  Sometimes we shower, or wash our faces, and or put on moisturizer.

So, there it is.  Washing our faces can do wonderful things.  It cleans away debris, brings out the nasty oils and dirt that have sunk in our pores.  But, if you were crying and you were trying to calm down, what is the first thing you do?  You go wash your face.  If your tired and want to wake up, you wash your face.  If you feel sick to your stomach, you wash your face.  We wash our face or put water on our face for many reasons, and most of it revolves around, “washing the stress off,” is what I like to call it.

In the mornings, I have a hard time with the waking up thing.  So, the first thing I go for is the coffee.  Even the smell of coffee has an eye-opening aroma.  But, the coffee grounds also help clean your face and exfoliate as well.  So, with this in mind, and after reading about a million things about sugar and salt scrubs I made my own facial scrub with coffee.  Unfortunately, as normal, I always just start tossing things together.

So, I will give you a recipe for it, but I may come back later to adjust it, so that it is the exact measurements.  Also, this recipe is only mostly natural, as the beeswax I use is a hair product, so it has petroleum jelly in it.  You can replace that with regular beeswax though.

Ingredients:

  • 3 Tbsp. Beeswax
  • 2 Tbsp. Olive Oil
  • 1 Tbsp. Coconut Oil
  • 2 Tbsp. Honey
  • 3 Tbsp. Coffee Grounds
  • 7 Drops Lavender Essential Oil
  • 3 Drops Tea Tree Oil

Directions:

  1. Melt the beeswax and coconut oil in a double boiler on the stove. (alternative way is in the microwave 30 seconds at a time, another alternative way is to use a sauce pot with water in the bottom, and a glass bowl that fits on the top of the sauce pan. (<-that’s how I do mine))
  2. Remove from the head and mix in the olive oil, honey, and coffee grounds.  Until they are fully mixed together.
  3. Add in your Lavender and Tea Tree Essential Oils, and mix well.
  4. Pour mixture into a reseal able bowl. (I used an old plastic gelatin bowl, but it is actually better to use a glass bowl or jar.)  And let sit until cools.  Do not cover until it has cooled fully and has solidified to keep water out of the mixture.

To Use:

  1. Dip your fingers into your bowl (or jar) and scoop out about 2 tsp. or more (depending on how you feel), and rub into your face in circular motion.

  2. Let it sit for 5 to 10 minutes.

  3. Take a warm or hot wash rag and let it sit on your face for 1 to 2 minutes.

  4. Then gently rub off.

  5. Your face may be slightly oily afterwards, don’t worry about that.  Let it dry, then the oil will soak into your face, moisturizing it as well.

  6. Once your face has dried, go ahead and apply your make up.woman-girl-young-beauty

Try it out, and leave me a comment to let me know what you think.

Why Start a Blog?

Why did start my blog?

I live in a small town, and mommy groups are slim to none.  Closer to the none category.  So, I chose to make my own mommy group online.  I wanted to connect mothers that have a difficult time themselves and feel alone due to how their children may act.

I do not have any degrees.  All I have is the life that I live, and what I’ve been through in the past.  I DO talk about God, because he is a part of my life, and my life only got better when I accepted Jesus into my heart.  And I am proud to share my views on this end.

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In the past I’ve always felt pulled to help people.  I am the one that my friends came to, even in school, about their problems.  And I’m definitely not talking about boy problems.

As an adult, I’ve helped friends make choices, and to step away from bad situations.  I’ve even helped some settle back into life, while they are holding fear that their ex is going to come back to haunt them.  I’ve used my experiences to explain possibilities, and even gone as far as driving friends to a counselor.  Looking for the correct place for them to get the help that they need.

I’ve said before, there are depressing situations that can keep us down often.  I’ve actually been there myself.  I’ve had counselors tell me they didn’t know what else to say to me because I told them exactly what they would say.  But, sometimes it isn’t enough.  Sometimes we need to know someone who has actually experienced it.  It’s the empathy in the situation that makes it easier to accept that you are not alone.

Since I’ve had children.

Since I’ve had children, I’ve been asked loads about how I do this or that.  And the actual inspiration to write this blog specifically came from a friend of mine.  It started back when her baby was about 6 months old.  The snow finally slowed and was mostly gone before my friend started coming to see me again.  We live very close, but in cold and snow, It’s difficult for me to get places, so I hole up at home.

So, she finally was able to make it and bring me to see that sweet little bug.  But my friend looked a mess.  Bags under her eyes, and fully stressed to the max.  121HI asked her what was wrong, and she explained in full detail to me.  She couldn’t set the baby down to even take a shower.  No one can hold her except herself.  She would only sleep for small increments, and it had to be right on her mommy’s shoulder and neck.

My friend actually started the research on her own, so after she finished explaining she told me that her buggy was a high maintenance baby.  However, she only had basics about it.  So she showed me the site she looked at, Dr. Sears High Maintenance baby.  (They’ve got great information.)

I started that night by telling he she needed some help, and we went over some options of how to do just that.  She went home so she could try to get a bit of sleep.  But, I couldn’t sleep that night.  Instead I spent the night researching it, and matching my children to the same thing.  Understanding at that moment that was why I could rarely get a baby sitter.  Why family and friends would only take my oldest and one of the other two or just my oldest.

The thing was that I had felt stuck, myself.  And now, one of my closest friends was going through the same thing.  No one would help her, because her buggy would cry all the time.  So, as I helped her work through this, I did the best that I could to help.  We had started a once a week for three hours at a time to help socialize her baby.

Between life happening, and the last time I watched the baby she tried to vault out of my arms.  We had to stop the set up.  However, by this time, that cute little buggy started letting daddy hold her.  But, through this time, I allowed myself to get closer to my friend as well as a few others.  And when I spoke to my friends, we’d talk about different parenting techniques.  Which ones we thought were wrong, which ones we thought worked, as well as techniques we thought would work for others, but not for our children.

What does that have to do with my blog?

Well, all these experiences and a lot of prayer, told me that I needed to use this to help others.  And if I could help just one, then I’ve made the world just a bit better.  If I could just figure out how to reach out to those mommies like me, then I could help a lot of people, and start building a large community so we all could help each other.

But how could I tie children and adult life experiences together?  I haven’t met many people who are mothers in my current situation that have gone through what I have.  In fact, most people I know that have been in the same shoes as I am still feel stuck in that spot.  So, how do you reach those people?

How many times a day do we google something?  If you can google it, you can connect to it.  So a blog fit the how.  I just had to put the why together and start sending it out to everyone.

My goal is to help as many as I can.  And my start is here.  Just to make a tiny difference.  Because most times it is the small things that make someone’s life.  The smile that changed the outlook on some one that had hit that rocky bottom.  And the hello that made them want to get up and climb to the top.

Have you ever hit rock bottom and felt alone?  Tell me about it.  If you don’t feel comfortable commenting below, and would like to tell me privately, then send me a message.