Something Else

So, this past week has been something else.  However last weeks trip to the doctor led to a few things.  Even though it seems like another load added on to my already abnormal health, it is a blessing to me.  We actually know what is going on with this part.  And it seems it is fairly easy to fix.

Allergy medicine, sinus relief, and a dentist…Well, it’s mostly easy.  A dentist, when your insurance only covers basics and one x-ray when you don’t qualify for the low-income and still can’t afford what you need.  What a pain in the A@#!!!

In the mean time, I’m still trying to learn limits while healing from this hat-trick bought of illness.  And, slowly but surely I’m making progress.  AND, I’m finally starting to be able to get out of the house more!!!  Who would have thought that I’d be praying to run some errands…well for someone to run me on some errands.

So, as I continue on this journey, I’m going to be able to provide more things for you all to read and catch up with.  I can’t wait to share it with you all!

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It Rains and It Pours

Sometimes we look at life, and say, “When it rains it pours.”  Well, I suppose that this could be how I am looking at things now.  However it is not.

For those that are following my weekly posts, you may have noticed that I did not make a post yesterday.  I was actually trying to rest up due to an infection that I thought I could kick myself.  Turns out, I had to get some antibiotics and real rest in.female-865110_1920

So, I’m resting up, and still working on that whole balance thing.  I could look at this as the glass is half empty kind of pessimism, but that is just not who I am.  And, I will continue to take the attitude that keeps my head up. As well as continue to pray for that strength.

In the mean time, I have actually been able to make a great dent in my personal schedule and chore list with the same tools I’m giving you throughout the week.  So, with that, I hope that you all use them, and let me know how they work for you.  That way we can continue this journey together.

I also want to take this time to set a few goals that maybe you can help me with.

  1. I want to make Busy Buggies go Viral.
  2. I’d like to create some online resource packages for those in need.
  3. I’d like to learn that I have helped you readers in one way or another.
  4. I’d like to be able to answer some questions you all have, to help our community.

So, these are a few of my basic goals that I want to achieve so far.  They are my short term goals.  My long term goals are still adding up, but they need some research behind them.

Lets come together, and create a list of things you’d like to see here at Busy Buggies.  Leave me a comment for some great ideas to go with.  If you’re uncomfortable with making your idea public, send it to me personally.

Can’t wait to hear from you all.

Mama Bug

Slowing it Down

This week I’ve been slowing things down.  Here comes a holiday, and I feel a bit worthless…or I did at first.  But, I think this is the first week prior to Easter I have REALLY enjoyed…or gotten to enjoy, not sure, in years.  Why is that…well, I’ve had no choice, but to slow down.

I finally have it through my head that I have got to slow down, or I’m going to force myself into another seizure.  Which, I really don’t want to scar my children with another.  Not to mention, they’re horrible.  And I really don’t like the aftermath of loosing so much memory and everything else that goes with it.

Other family members have had to slow things down due to health as well.  Some it is their schedule.  Or some just want to spend it with their close family.  And, do you know what?  It’s great!easter-1237591_1920

Yes, I miss my family, and would love to have the whole big gathering.  But, what happens is that I (along with a select few) will be expected to do the majority of the before, during, and after work.  But, this year that wouldn’t be true.  Everyone would be so busy telling me to sit down, all worried about me.  Which will bug me so much that I’ll go off somewhere where no one can see me help, or try to sneak it in elsewhere.  Then the next week or so, I’ll be recovering.  Meanwhile, someone will have gotten sick from someone else at the family party…and so has been the past few holidays for us.

So, yeah,  today I’m going to bake with the buggies, and color Easter eggs.  Then we’ll go hunt eggs at the church and come home and NOT stress about getting this that and the other thing done before tomorrow.   We will laugh and giggle and probably eat more junk than we all need to.

Tomorrow, we’ll go to church.  Look cute in our new dresses (or the buggies will.)  Then we’ll come home and eat whatever we decide and continue with a happy family together day.

What are YOU going to do this weekend?cooking-1271605_1920

Good News

This week I got some good news.  I got a phone call Monday morning, while I was making arrangements to get the kids where they needed to be and anything else I, or they, might need for my trip to the doctor’s.  I was thinking, just before the call, why do I have to drive an hour to find out news that may be bad in a cold, unfamiliar place, instead of the comfort of my own home.  This just does not make sense to me.  Then the phone rang.  It was the doctor’s and they needed to shuffle some things and wouldn’t be able to get me in at 1pm like they originally stated.

So, now I’m thinking, oh just great.  But, then she asked me if it was all right if they told me the results over the phone or if I would like to reschedule.  Of course, I wanted to do this at home.  So, I let her know it was perfectly fine.  I learned I had a Fibrotic Noma (don’t quote me on the spelling…medical terms are not my thing).  It is large, but it is benign.  If it doesn’t bother me, and if it doesn’t grow rapidly, they are going to leave it there.269H

So, AWESOME and YAY FOR ME!!!  PRAISE THE LORD!!!  Right?

So, although I am entirely happy that it isn’t cancer, even though I have to get it checked every 6 months, I still can’t help but be a bit disappointed.  If it was cancer, then maybe that could account for all the other symptoms I’m experiencing.  Maybe it would solve everything.  I mean, we pretty much have cancer beat for a lot of areas so long as we catch it in time, right?   But I am happy I don’t have to go through all that at this time.

Which means I’m back to square one and I’m still trying to learn my new limits.  My parents and friends are on me about recording all my symptoms, now that I have a doctor that will listen to me.  I should give them a bit more to work with, to help them figure it out a bit faster.  I also keep getting told to listen to my body.  Which I have done SOOOOOO much more since the seizures.  But, when you never know when your body is going to scream at you to stop abruptly, you take a risk every day so long as you are doing something, even cleaning your house.

Now back 4 weeks, when I had a seizure, a very close family friend of ours, one of her friends had a heart attack.  And she had learned to listen to her body not long before that by watching a woman on the news sharing her symptoms of a heart attack.  Women have to be so careful, because our symptoms for heart attack are generally much more subtle than a man’s.  But even men should be aware of this, as every attack is not the same.

I was floored learning these symptoms, because they are some of what I experience, especially before a seizure.  But, when Tammy watched the news, she had learned what to keep an eye out for.  And she found herself in a situation that she was able to apply it to her own situation.  It saved her life.

212HRecording and watching your symptoms are important.  It doesn’t make us week.  It doesn’t mean we are whining.  It means we are being responsible for our own health.

Some of us are so used to dealing with pain and the like, that we are so used to saying that we’re fine.  We end up forgetting the important things to tell our doctors, or even watch out for.  Pain is just one of the things that can overwhelm your body and cause a fuzziness in your mind, making it so that you forget a lot of important things.  Especially in an emergency.  However, with reminders, like recording the news piece you wanted to hear or writing it down to tell your doctor.  It may help you remember and it may well save your life.

Tammy, I’m so happy that you learned something to look out for, and the pair of you have shared with all of us how paying attention to what our bodies are telling us is important and can help us.  And I’m happy that you are feeling much better now.

Thank you Rhonda for sharing this piece with me.  I know it will help me to remember to keep paying attention to my body and record it so I can share it with the doctor.

I hope you all will take this one to heart, and watch the clip so maybe you can learn something new for yourself as well.

I am currently working on something to help you all keep track of your symptoms, and as soon as it is finished I will attach it here for you to use.

God Bless You All,

Mama Bug

Changing Fast

Alright, so All week I have done the informative kind of thing.  Today I’m changing it up.  I’m going to just write as if in a journal.  I’m hoping it will help people realize that some of the things I’m going through may be similar to what you’re going through.  I want this to be inspirational, but I do not, in any way want it to be gossip or a pity party.  I’m not a doctor, so none of this is meant to have you use as a replacement for such services.  In fact, today I’m hoping it will inspire you to actually go to the doctor.  Sometimes you never know what you’ll get, and even if you’re a doctor yourself, an outside opinion is always good.  Because that can give you a better perspective from their external view.  Not to mention, I don’t know any mommy that keeps an ex-ray machine or MRI machine or anything like that in some storage space within their house.

 

So, here goes nothing…

About five weeks ago I finally started seeing a doctor again.  I’ve been in pain for a while, and had been seeing a doctor only to be frusterated with the treatment because we weren’t finding an answer.  Now, that wasn’t the only reason I had stopped seeing my doctors, especially my primary, but that’s reason enough.  Everyone gets frusterated, sometimes, with the lack of answers.

I’ve prayed and prayed and prayed that these things would be resolved, and I’ve prayed for healing as well.  I find it difficult, though, since I don’t know what is going on, so what do you pray for, right?  So I prayed general healing and help because what else can I do?  I also prayed about the decision to go back to the doctor, and who should I pick?  The doctor that was my current primary at the time, my previous, or a new one.  What was the lesser of the three evils.

So one day, about 5 weeks or so back, I just stopped by a doctor’s office recommended to me by a friend because calling hadn’t worked.  I got an appointment right away.  This doctor was absolutely wonderful.  He listened to me, and didn’t judge me.  I have a pretty high pain tolerance, so this is HUGE that he didn’t judge me.  It took two appointments to get through our main concerns.  He put me on some medication, and listened when I told him I didn’t want the “new doctor bandage, Norco,” (as I like to call it).  So he actually agreed and doesn’t like to hand that out like candy anyways (one of many prayers answered btw!!!)  And we schedule up some tests to get started.

What we thought we were looking at was chronic pain from a back surgery I had back in 2008, pain in the hip, and unknown nerve issues, loss of strength, and loss of reflex as well as another new thing…vertigo.  So, at this point, it’s another barrage of tests.  Oh yeah, he also listened to me about my concerns for watching for possible breast cancer, and he was upset to find out that reguardless of weather I have asked in the past or not, given my family history of breast cancer among other cancers, this should have been monitored since I had been the age of 25.  I’m 33 now, and it is only 1 year prior to the age my mother was when she found her lump.

So, he tried some shots for pain in the hips, and sent me on my way.  We had also discussed how the medication was working.  Rescheduled for a few weeks later, and I was on my way.

Three weeks ago, I had decided I was feeling fairly mobile, got some actual cleaning done (FINALLY!! YAY!!), and was happy to go get some shopping done and go visit my mother.  So, the bugs and I were off, ran my errands, then went and sat and had coffee with my parents. (I had coffee, not the buggies)  The last thing I remember, it was 6pm, I had a bought of vertigo going and a migraine starting.  This is about normal for me now a days.  I had been shaking due to what I thought was the vertigo, and it intensified.  It’s happened before so I didn’t think much of it, but I surely wasn’t going to put my kids in my van and drive off just so I could go lay down.  So, I had let it go and figured I’d wait it out.

I remember a few clips from there.  I cried because I couldn’t stop the shaking.  I stumbled as My Mom and Stepfather took me outside and tried to get me into his truck. It was light and dark and light and dark (this was us going down the road, but I didn’t know that at the time). Then my feet were dragging in a wheelchair.  On a bed and people were moving me asking questions that I could hardly answer.  It started getting a bit more clear and I remember the first CT scan trying to move from one bed to another, then I was back in my room and my Husband and parents were there.  When it really hit that I was in the hospital, I started to look around and almost puked realizing I had an IV in and it was 8:30pm.  What happened to the time, I have no idea.  And some of the time in the beginning of this I remember clearly thinking…screaming in my head that I was fine, to let me rest but terrified because I couldn’t make my mouth work to communicate, and couldn’t lift my arms or legs to let anyone know.

So my family let me know I had had a seizure, and described it and filled me in on what I missed.  It’s a scary thing to know that you lost time and really have no clue what happened in between.  AND THANK THE LORD I WASN’T DRIVING!!!!

After all of this, due to the way I came in, one of the things the ER diagnosed me with was Altered Mental Status.  Which means that I can no longer drive for a minimum of 6 months without a seizure unless a doctor says otherwise.  This changed my life alone, not to mention the buggies life.

We spent Valentines Day with me recovering, and nervous to do anything at all, especially leave the house,  Now every day I have to watch myself closely.  When I thought I was recovered, daddy bug took me to the store to get me out of the house.  I almost collapsed because I was so dizzy.  I haven’t even been to church since all of this happened.  Then last week it happened again…in front of Belly bug, and I barely remember the majority of it.

I must have cried a lot during it, because she asked me why I was crying and if I was going to be okay.  Nothing like scarring your children for life with an experience like that.

Meanwhile, I finally get my first Mammogram, and they found something odd so they did an ultrasound and still couldn’t tell what it was.  So now, with all the dizziness, fuzzy brain that makes it hard to talk, work my limbs, and other function issues and other weirdness that has changed our lives…Now I have to go and get a biopsy done.

If that seems like a lot, well it kind of is.  But I’m still going.  I feel stupid often.  I’m pissed off a lot.  But, I am alive and God is with me the whole way.  He has helped me through this, and all I have to do is ask.  And I do.  I speak to him as if he were standing next to me, and it doesn’t bother me or embarrass me to do so.  When I’m scared he comforts me, when I’m in pain he soothes me.  And when I don’t know wtf is going on, great thing is that he does.

In all the trouble that has been going on I find myself growing closer to God, and I was already doing that before all of this new stuff was happening.  Not because of it.  I’m finding myself running into people that are also about the same spiritual level as I am or higher that are effecting my life in a positive way.  And I’ve always stuck along the lines of, “If God leads you to it, He will lead you through it.”  Although I know that God did not cause these in me, I know that he will still lead me.  So, I guess it’s more the footprints in the sand thing.

Yes, I would be lying to say I wasn’t concerned about the negative possibilities.  But, frankly, the only way the outcome will turn out negative is if I turn away.  I WILL get through it if I lay it at the feet of Jesus.  And I plan to do that exactly.

Now, I’d normally wrap it up and close my journal (which when I keep one it is normally a basic notebook or my laptop, but if it’s writeable it works).  Then I would pray:

God,

Thank you for all you have gifted me.  Thank you for all the  that is in my life, and especially my family and the small things.  But, most of all, thank you for carrying me.  I know those footprints left behind are yours.  And regardless of me being about as big as a house right now (*giggles*), I know you will never tire of carrying your child through.

I am asking you to take all these problems, health  the like.  Take them from me and mine, I lay them at your feet.  I know that you will light my way and allow me to shine in your name.  Thank you, God.

In the name of Jesus,

AMEN!