This week I’ve been feeling a bit better, and am learning to balance out what I want and need to do with what I am physically capable of doing. And I keep hearing people say the same thing to me, “Heather, you have to slow down, and take it one step at a time.” This would be multiple people who don’t or haven’t even spoken to each other.
So, maybe I should actually listen, right? My mind is still not functioning as well as I’d like it, and every time I overwhelm myself it physically takes a toll on me as well. So, yes, I do need to slow down and take it one step at a time. But how?
There are so many methods of organizing, and reorganizing. There are plenty of inside and outside projects that need to be done. Let alone, all the basics like sweeping, mopping, and dishes. So, how does one that is used to doing all that and more, slow it down, but keep up the progress?
Prior to the seizures I had a method, but this was before I decided I wasn’t going to let all this beat me. I would take each common chore and watch how long before my body started to be unbearable. That took about 10 to 15 to sometimes 20 minutes, depending on what I was doing and how I felt that day.
I had to be reminded in a way. My neighbor had stopped by, on her way from her nightly walk with her dog. She told me, that if I stop stressing about it, and remember God’s footprints, and give it to God to handle for me, that I would make it through.
After we spoke, I thought about it, and realized, she was right. I keep putting these burdens on my shoulders, and holding all my anger towards myself for not being able to do it, and just letting this pile it up. And that just isn’t good for anyone.
So, I left the project I was working on, closed out my computer and laid in bed. I closed my eyes and prayed. “God, I know you are leading me to all these things. And I know what I am going through right now with my health is not of you or your will. But I need your help, Lord. I cannot balance this one my own, no matter how hard I try. I want to do these things, and it helps me feel better the more I can clean the house, make a few things for my children to play and be happy, and come up with new ways to organize my clustered trailer, to fit our family better. But, all these things that I used to take for granted…I can’t do it alone. I am sorry for taking them for granted before. Please forgive me, and please help!!! Thank you, Lord. In the name of Jesus, Amen.”
With that I had gone to sleep and worked harder on trying to level out everything. Letting go and leaving for tomorrow as much as I could, without stressing out. Still listening to my body, but not fighting with it. Or trying not to anyways.
Two separate days, my neighbor came over. She was all grins, and she was so happy she had just found something for me on both days. But the first day she had come over, I thought she would jump out of her skin with excitement.
She told me that she had found something, and it was exactly what we had talked about the other day. And of course, my brain was overfilled, then just blank. So she pulled out the treasure she had found at the thrift store for an awesome price. She told me it just screamed me, when she had seen it. And that she had gotten another thing for free because she was a regular at this store, and the owner couldn’t figure out how to fix it.
When she opened the wrapping it was in, so it wouldn’t break. I about cried. A good sized framed clock with my favorite poem…,”Footprints in the Sand.” And to go with it, a gorgeous small picture of the last supper.
The timing of all this was absolutely perfect. I was once again getting frustrated, and I saw the message as she pulled the pictures out. God is watching me, and he is carrying me. Just as I had asked. And all I need to do is to think of him and remember that. But with these two things, I would have the visual reminder.
This is the time to remember the reason that Jesus was sent to us. And the reason that he died for us. Just like God had a plan for Jesus, he had a plan for us. We just need to listen. And keep our eyes open. Because if God wants us to hear a message, it WILL get to you one way or another. That’s a glorious thing, because sometimes I am quite a hard headed person.
Now, I don’t remember who the original author is. Actually, I haven’t even seen a picture with this poem in years. So, please understand, this is not my writing, but I do want to leave you with this, this week. It has helped me tremendously. I hope it does the same for you.
One night a man had a dream. He dreamed he was walking along the beach with the LORD. Across the sky flashed scenes from his life. For each scene, he noticed two sets of footprints in the sand; one belonged to him and the other tot he LORD>
When the last scene of his life flashed before him, he looked back at the footprints in the sand. He noticed that many times along the path of his life there was only one set of footprints. He also noticed that it happened at the very lowest and saddest times in his life.
This really bothered him and he questioned the LORD about it. “LORE, you said that once I decided to follow you, you’d walk with me all the way. But I have noticed that during the most troublesome times in my life, there is only one set of footprints. I don’t understand why, when I needed you most you would leave me/”
The LORD replied, “My precious, precious child. I love you and would never leave you. During your times of trial and suffering, when you see only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you.”