Oh, the worry bug… You’re cooking dinner and all of a sudden your child is running at top speed through the house to get to you, eyes tearing up, face red, and practically hyperventilating in panic. “Mommy, MOMMY!!! Do I have a bee in my nose? I saw a bee, and then I didn’t…I think it flew up my nose!!!” Then the melting freak out ensues. You cannot just tell her that she’s fine and there is nothing up there. You have to physically check her nose to be sure there is nothing just to satisfy this panic before you can send her on her way to play.
It doesn’t matter that the bee was outside of the window and probably just stopped on the screen for a moment then went about it’s business. Your buggy is literally terrified that it may have flown up her nose. And this is just one of my many examples of what my Beany Bug has done and gone through.
Sometimes you want to laugh because you are thinking, seriously….how the….oh never mind. Other times you just want to scream, SHUT THE FRONT DOOR…YOU’VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME….THERE IS NO BEE IN YOUR NOSE….. But, if you do, it leads to the atomic meltdown panic attack. Not to mention that you hurt her feelings, and could leave permanent damage if these are common reactions.
What is the worry bug?
The worry bug is painfully shy to the point of tears in a room too crowded. She is the one that wants to crawl back in if she can, at family gatherings. If it isn’t a normal group gathering, so Christmas, Thanksgiving…anyone she doesn’t see on a normal basis or a regular basis like church; she is nothing but a little ball of nerves. She’s going to cry, melt down, and climb inside of herself. And on top of that she will have a horrible time….that is until she finally calms down and adjusts to the situation. Then she very slowly comes out of her shell. She took a bit more than a month to stop crying at school everyday. Then a bit more to start really getting comfortable with going to school.
Some Symptoms of The Worry Bug
The majority of these symptoms need to be monitored, and if they are getting extreme, or your bug is not adjusting to a semi normal level, or you are having major behavioral problems then you need to see your doctor. Taking your child to the doctor for anxiety issues is the best thing you can do if you think that it is something that is out of hand. Or even if you’re not thinking it is out of hand. Just a mother’s worry is enough. Use your maternal instinct on this. If your gut says it’s a problem, then take her (or him) to the doctor. They won’t judge you for your concern. In fact they are more than happy to help. So here is your reference list:
General Anxiety – Children with this type of anxiety worry uncontrollably and excessively about daily life. These are the kids that can’t watch the news, because they pick up on the current events and worry through them. In cases that are more worrisome and should be brought to a doctors attention is if these worries your child is having physical reactions such as ulcers or other stomach pains, headaches, or is just plain worrying too much about these issues.
Panic & Agoraphobia – Panic is a sudden onset of fear and agoraphobia is the sudden onset of fear when in a crowd. These can be serious symptoms as well, and if your mommy gut says get it checked…then GET IT CHECKED. For us here, Beanie will be excited to go somewhere that she knows is going to be a lot of people, then when we get in there she stats breathing heavy, shakes, and hides behind me. As she’s grown she is growing away from this. I have brought it up to a doctor before, and he said that I shouldn’t worry about it because at the time the symptoms she was showing weren’t cause enough to put her into counseling which could cause her more problems if she didn’t need it. Each child is different, and every mother knows their child. When in doubt ask. What’s the worst thing they can do, advise you to keep an eye on it and not to worry?
Separation Anxiety – Simply put, this is an anxiety that your buggy will experience when you and or daddy bug leave. I think there are times that every baby, toddler, and child experience this. And normally this will go away not too long after you leave. In some cases it may not. Again, case by case. If this is a High Maintenance baby you might deal with it differently. But with an anxious child, if this behavior persists then you need to ask your doctor.
Social Anxiety – This is an anxiety that your buggy may feel when being in a social environment, and making new friends. Maybe they are just shy. But shy buggies experience social anxiety. Social anxiety can go away with the gentle introduction into social life. Or it can get worse. Always something to keep in mind.
Selective Mutism – This happens in a situation, especially around new people, where your normally, “can’t be quiet,” bug now cannot or will not speak because she is too anxious. Beanie does this when there is too much stimulation around her and too many people, until she gets comfortable.
Specific Phobias – Fairly self explanatory, and like the example above of a phobia of something stuck in her nose. Some children can learn to control these, and now a days Beanie Bug can laugh it off once she is consoled.
Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) – kids with this disorder have things (thoughts, images, etc…) that make them uncomfortable and anxious. They may also have repetitive behaviors whether physical or mental that they do or think to attempt to reduce the anxious and uncomfortable feelings. When we first moved into our own place, Beanie was happy, but obviously uncomfortable. When we got her bedroom set up, she could not sleep until everything was in it’s place. I have a niecey bug that was similar in the fact that she could not sleep until each and every toy was put in the correct spot, and if you came in and moved something she would have a severe melt down.
Body Focused Repetitive Behaviors (BFRBs) – This is something your buggy does while or because they are anxious. They may fidget, bite their nails or lip or even tounge. They may pick at their skin and scabs or even twist and pull their hair. These, can be a great way to see that your child is at their end for stimulation or even if something is bothering them and they need to talk. If it gets out of hand then you NEED to see a doctor. Yes, even lip biting can be a reason to see a doctor. If your child is intentionally chewing to the point of blood, especially if it frequent you need to take that baby in to be seen by her doctor.
Health Anxiety – this is where they are always worried about being sick themselves or someone close to them, especially a mommy or daddy, being sick. Beanie Bug doesn’t worry about this so much anymore. Her major sick anxiety is if she is going to puke. But then again a lot of people worry about that.
Hoarding – where your child collects many things like toys, drawings, or other non-essential things and trying to take it away causes a major attack of anxiety. This one is something you should discuss with your doctor if you cannot work through it with your buggy.
There are many forms of anxiety, and may of these can be liveable. Watch out for warning signs of when it is too much and when you need to go to a doctor do discuss treatment and treatment options. My medical descriptions I found at AnxietyBC and I love how they set up their page. It’s fairly easy to navigate, but more importantly it is very informative and right to the point. PLEASE REMEMBER I AM NOT A DOCTOR OF ANY KIND AND THIS SITE IS NOT MEANT TO BE IN PLACE OF TREATMENT BY A DOCTOR.
But as a mother, as some of these things can be scary to think of, the worry bug doesn’t necessarily have them to the extremes of a necessary treatment, and often will pick up on your anxiety of their anxiety and use it to their advantage. Smart and perceptive, and often sneaky once they realize they can do it, though normally a non-confrontational person, certain times (like with siblings, especially busy siblings) this may come out.
These little softie bugs need and want a lot of cuddles and love. And will sometimes use their anxieties to get that. Especially if they are competing for your attention, or think they are competing for your attention. I have noticed that Beanie does this when the other two act up in order to get in her form of attention. But that subject is for another time.
Hang in there Mama, it’ll all be okay, and don’t forget, that sometimes everyone needs a cuddle…okay yeah, I know too much Doc McStuffins…